We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
