When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
