Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
