fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
