There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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