its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
where am i from again
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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