so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
