So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How's work?
Spinning.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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