Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
