Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
