I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
