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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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