If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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