Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
