Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
