Kareoke will never be a sober sport
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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