In America we eat man semen.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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