you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
