evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How does one acquire holy water?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
