i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
