I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
