he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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