pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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