we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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