what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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