I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
