dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
