I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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