their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
