The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
