Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
