tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
