Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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