Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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