Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
