That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
