My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
