i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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