Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
