I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
