Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she peed on how many people?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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