So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Less talking, more tequila
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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