why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you traded sex for a burrito?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
