I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
