Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
