garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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