i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
