Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we made out on top of his cat.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
