so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
