Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
